Liar

Everyday she smiles,
And looks me straight in the eye...
and she lies to me

1+1+1+1= Marriage

my dad & i

So many of my friends know that I was raised in a polygamous family. I have a total of 30 brothers & sisters. We were all raised together as one big happy (most of the time) family. I had 5 mothers growing up and 1 dad. All this to say I have recently been completely enthralled by the new HBO series Big Love. I watched all 6 episodes the other day back to back on my HBO on Demand and can't wait to see what happens this week. Even though the series takes place in Utah with a Mormon family & I was raised in an African-Muslim Home in Brooklyn the show had me reminiscing about my childhood. I had an amazing childhood to say the least and didnt have any real complaints about it until looking back on certain issues with the eyes of a woman as opposed to a child. I always felt loved and wanted and important to the family. We traveled all over the country and I know that I owe my love of travel, knowledge and books to my parents...All of them.

polygamy is an interesting and often misunderstood family structure. Most people in my experience equate polygamy to lots of sex....sex, sex and more sex. I think sex is the least important of issue in a polygamous family. More important is relationships and selflessness. There are so many types of relationships within the family structure...the one between the wives, each wife and the husband, the children with each other and each parent, grandparents, extra-grandparents. It goes on and on....

There are definitely some other issues that come up that are quite unpleasant, and I am still working through them as an adult attempting to find my own way through the mine field of male/female relationships. But ultimately I love my family, all of them and wouldn't change a thing (mostly) !

too much attention vs too little attention..

Ok so I have always said that I like a lot of attention when it comes to being in a relationship now I find myself fending off the attentions a gentleman who I have only known for about a week and he has joking referred to himself as my husband TWICE! I had to tell him today that I thought that it was inappropriate and asked him not to make that joke anymore because it makes me uncomfortable. He apologized and promised to not do it any more. So anyway I am feeling less and less attracted to him each passing day.

On the other hand I have a friend who I have known for years and spent some quality time with a few weeks ago. Now in the beginning I wasn't sure if I wanted to go any further with him and was just a little curious as we have flirted back and forth since I was 15. This guy is always on the road for work and is NEVER available when I want him to be. So why have I become more and more attracted to him even though I am agitated at the same time by his unavailability.

what's wrong with me.....there has to be a happy medium somewhere!

My Garden...pt. 2

So to clear up the apparent confusion posted above are pics of my actual yard/ garden to be. The weather has been beautiful and I think that my next door neighbor was inspired by my cleaning cause they have cleaned their yard some also. I still wanna put up fencing though to make my garden a bit more private...even if my upstairs neighbors will still be able to look down into my yard.
I'll post night time photos later..it looks much better in the dark ;o)

My Garden...

This weekend I worked in the yard!!

I had been planning all week to plant flowers in my backyard this past weekend and I went to Home Depot with my Mom to shop. I knew what I wanted Tulips and Daffodils and Hyacinth. Cause they are pretty and smell good too! Just walk up Park Avenue and you will see what i mean about tulips and daffodils together! So anyway I get to Home Depot and walk around for about 15 minutes slowly realizing that I have absolutely no clue as to what i need to buy or what i need to do to get the garden I want... so i calmly walk back to the car and call my sister cause she did a great job on my mothers front yard.... so she will be in town to help me out this week.

In the mean time I have been tilling the runners where I wanna plant shrubs and flowers and I have also brought 3 books on gardening and landscaping.... I am ready to have a beautiful garden this summer and the summers to come..It is just gonna take a little more time and work than I thought. But I am willing to put in the work and I am actually enjoying coming home from work and going to work in the yard/garden to be..

oh yeah and last but not least I have put daffodils and hyacinth in a window box and pot to motivate me as I work!

I'm Done......for now anyway!

I am done....
I am tired of all the bullshit...
I am tired of waiting for mr. right and dealing with mr. right now cause a woman has needs..
I am finished with calling dude just to get my jollies off...
I am taking a break from folks that I care more about their skills in bed than what's in their head...
I am gonna work my frustrations off in the gym and working in my garden
I am taking a lesson in enjoying being all alone...spending some time inside my head
I am thinking about taking a trip by myself and not making excuses about needing someone to split the hotel with
I am ready to move into my 31st year....and intent on leaving the Bullshit behind!

My Girl...

So I turned 30 last year and am getting ready to turn 31 in 2 months. Now for the longest time I believed that it is very hard if not impossible to make great friends after college. But lo and behold this past summer I was blessed with the opportunity to make a new friend. How she came into my life is a story unto itself and maybe told another day.....

So we have been hanging pretty tight since about right after Labor day and I cant imagine her not being a part of my day to day... life is amazing like that. A year ago I didnt even know her and now I cant imagine not knowing her. She is a great lady and inspires me to be a better person. She makes me laugh and sometimes makes me sad but I love having her company.

So here is a smile and a hug and a kiss to my girl Russatta!