Saturday, April 22, 2006

1+1+1+1= Marriage

my dad & i

So many of my friends know that I was raised in a polygamous family. I have a total of 30 brothers & sisters. We were all raised together as one big happy (most of the time) family. I had 5 mothers growing up and 1 dad. All this to say I have recently been completely enthralled by the new HBO series Big Love. I watched all 6 episodes the other day back to back on my HBO on Demand and can't wait to see what happens this week. Even though the series takes place in Utah with a Mormon family & I was raised in an African-Muslim Home in Brooklyn the show had me reminiscing about my childhood. I had an amazing childhood to say the least and didnt have any real complaints about it until looking back on certain issues with the eyes of a woman as opposed to a child. I always felt loved and wanted and important to the family. We traveled all over the country and I know that I owe my love of travel, knowledge and books to my parents...All of them.

polygamy is an interesting and often misunderstood family structure. Most people in my experience equate polygamy to lots of sex....sex, sex and more sex. I think sex is the least important of issue in a polygamous family. More important is relationships and selflessness. There are so many types of relationships within the family structure...the one between the wives, each wife and the husband, the children with each other and each parent, grandparents, extra-grandparents. It goes on and on....

There are definitely some other issues that come up that are quite unpleasant, and I am still working through them as an adult attempting to find my own way through the mine field of male/female relationships. But ultimately I love my family, all of them and wouldn't change a thing (mostly) !

Posted by bedstuy chick at 10:13 PM

4 comments:

  1. Setta B.4/24/06, 12:36 PM

    We've talked about this so I really have nothing new to add. I have just one comment though.

    I can speak for only myself. I need to see a functional model of a polygamous household before I can really understand how and why it works. I never thought it was all about sex but have no idea why one would enter such an arrangement. That's actually one question I never asked you. Let's talk about it next time we hang.

    ReplyDelete
  2. nikki4/24/06, 3:12 PM

    i have become very fascinated with this topic since meeting you. you're such a generous and sincerely giving person that i have to believe there are some benefits to being raised in that kind of environment.

    i'll be asking questions too when i see you next month.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous4/26/06, 4:15 PM

    I am jealous of your upbringing. I have always been impressed with how a number of hte mothers developed meaningful and loving realtionships. A true model for us all to witness and ponder. However,working through the male/father narcissisim implicit in your particular HH is key for you to better undertand yourself.
    Build on these amazing strengths and continue to deeply explore the darker side of your family structure...xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous4/26/06, 7:46 PM

    i'm very intrigued by this post. i've never spoken to someone who grew up in this type of family.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)